When Your Baby Sleeps But Your Body Doesn’t: Nervous System Care for New Parents

Sep 30 / Jenn Wooten

3AM. Baby is asleep. You are not

You’re finally back in bed. The baby is down. But your body? It’s still buzzing. I remember those days well with a newborn. The responsibility of keeping a tiny person alive and well can send your stress hormones through the roof. 

People told you this would be beautiful. And sometimes it is. But it can also feel like hypervigilance and exhaustion.

Why Rest Feels Out of Reach

Sleep deprivation is real. But what makes it harder is that your nervous system doesn’t always remember how to downshift on its own. 

Your body is designed to protect the baby. This vigilance is ancient and wise. But when your nervous system doesn’t get the message that all is well, it keeps you on high alert even in moments when you could rest, leaving you depleted, anxious, and wondering if you’ll ever feel like yourself again.

When we work with new parents at Viasomatic, we often see the signs:
  • Hyper-alertness: Even small sounds jolt you awake.
  • Exhaustion without rest: Your body feels tired but won’t let go.
  • Identity fog: You’re here, but you’re not sure who “you” are anymore.
What you need isn’t just more hours of sleep, it’s repair, completion, and safety signals for your nervous system.

Why Rest Feels Out of Reach

Here are a few that fit into a parent’s life (yes, even in 2 minutes):
  • 3-Part Breathing: Breathing into your belly, ribs, and chest in three parts can soothe vigilance and help you drift off to sleep when your baby is sleeping. It’s simple, grounding, and works with the body’s natural rhythm. (I still lean on this one during the rough patches of perimenopause sleep!)
  • Self-Havening: Gentle stroking of arms/face while recalling warmth helps reconnect you to yourself.
  • Capacity Language: “I don’t have the capacity for that right now” protects your bandwidth without guilt.

You Deserve Support Too

It’s easy to think: As long as the baby is okay, I should be okay too. But you’re allowed to need more than survival. You’re allowed to find rest, connection, and a way back to yourself. 

Because when your system finds even a little steadiness, bonding stops feeling like drowning and starts feeling like presence. 

✨ Ready for nap-length practices that rebuild steadiness? Explore Steady Inside: Nervous System Skills for Life.